watched two more movies today. the first was 'I smile back', starring sarah silverman. it was recommended by a former boss, who knows I am a comic and of course sarah is as well. it was hard to watch at times, that I will admit. since it was about a suburban housewife that drinks a lot and does drugs like cocaine. there is one part where she is sent to rehab. and I know the scene where she visits her estranged dad got a strong reaction out of me. this is the kind of movie that inspires me to write, as it is easier to find the passion that I am looking for.
I have said before how I can explore some dark parts of my life in my writings, the things that did happen and some that didn't but could have. I even said so when performing last night, where I made a reference to an intervention. but thankfully I haven't was low enough where an intervention was needed. I think it is just as much about how I don't want to get too comfortable while I am 'on vacation'- and I probably won't be- but you never know. although whenever I see mention of going to rehab or to a mental hospital in a story it makes me think of 'girl, interrupted' and how I 'seemed to understand' well the struggles that the main character was going through. also how she likes to say 'ambivalent' and I like saying that word as well. why is that? since like many other performers, I am aware of how fragile our mental health can be. and performing is our coping mechanism. sure beats seeing a therapist, where the ones i saw just didn't seem to have answers for me, had to figure most of it out on my own. I had even less patience with the second therapist, as i was doing stand-up by then and I really needed somebody that understood performers. there is another movie on my list where the main character ends up in a mental hospital. it is one of five on 'list one' so unsure as to when it will top the list, so many good movies I found and wrote down this week.
I am proud of how I am staying active during this time, and I have left my home for more than just performing. I have to get the movies back to the library. and there was a voicemail saying my new glasses from last week's appointment were now ready. I went there after the library, and after going to the ATM. I was bummed that an ATM in a booth was out of service, so I had to keep going. I was ready to sing 'need a doctor', the Eminem song that was about his mentor, dr. dre. since he refers to 'crying in this booth'. I made another step on becoming more serious on finding more paid writing and comedy gigs by contacting a writer friend through facebook. she had inspired a posting where I became more willing to share some of the ugliness of what my high school years were like. I printed some articles from her website, and creating my own website will likely help me find more of these kinds of gigs that I want.
the other movie I watched was 'inequality for all', a documentary by Robert reich, a former cabinet member from the Clinton years. it was about the uneven distribution of income in America, and what it means to our economy. there was some footage from a college class he was the instructor of, at UC- Berkeley. as an iowa native it meant something to see senator tom harkin in the deleted scenes.
I made it to the karaoke venue tonight, didn't watch much of the raiders-chiefs game on TV. I did two songs, 'plowed' by sponge, and 'take a bow' by rihanna. I did take a bow after I was done with the latter song. I saw a fellow comic there, hadn't seen him in a while. one of his claims to fame was playing a hipster on a TV show, and another was being arrested for being part of a group that was shooting squirt guns at a 'peddle pub'.
I have said before how I can explore some dark parts of my life in my writings, the things that did happen and some that didn't but could have. I even said so when performing last night, where I made a reference to an intervention. but thankfully I haven't was low enough where an intervention was needed. I think it is just as much about how I don't want to get too comfortable while I am 'on vacation'- and I probably won't be- but you never know. although whenever I see mention of going to rehab or to a mental hospital in a story it makes me think of 'girl, interrupted' and how I 'seemed to understand' well the struggles that the main character was going through. also how she likes to say 'ambivalent' and I like saying that word as well. why is that? since like many other performers, I am aware of how fragile our mental health can be. and performing is our coping mechanism. sure beats seeing a therapist, where the ones i saw just didn't seem to have answers for me, had to figure most of it out on my own. I had even less patience with the second therapist, as i was doing stand-up by then and I really needed somebody that understood performers. there is another movie on my list where the main character ends up in a mental hospital. it is one of five on 'list one' so unsure as to when it will top the list, so many good movies I found and wrote down this week.
I am proud of how I am staying active during this time, and I have left my home for more than just performing. I have to get the movies back to the library. and there was a voicemail saying my new glasses from last week's appointment were now ready. I went there after the library, and after going to the ATM. I was bummed that an ATM in a booth was out of service, so I had to keep going. I was ready to sing 'need a doctor', the Eminem song that was about his mentor, dr. dre. since he refers to 'crying in this booth'. I made another step on becoming more serious on finding more paid writing and comedy gigs by contacting a writer friend through facebook. she had inspired a posting where I became more willing to share some of the ugliness of what my high school years were like. I printed some articles from her website, and creating my own website will likely help me find more of these kinds of gigs that I want.
the other movie I watched was 'inequality for all', a documentary by Robert reich, a former cabinet member from the Clinton years. it was about the uneven distribution of income in America, and what it means to our economy. there was some footage from a college class he was the instructor of, at UC- Berkeley. as an iowa native it meant something to see senator tom harkin in the deleted scenes.
I made it to the karaoke venue tonight, didn't watch much of the raiders-chiefs game on TV. I did two songs, 'plowed' by sponge, and 'take a bow' by rihanna. I did take a bow after I was done with the latter song. I saw a fellow comic there, hadn't seen him in a while. one of his claims to fame was playing a hipster on a TV show, and another was being arrested for being part of a group that was shooting squirt guns at a 'peddle pub'.
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