Pigeon Missiles

      At the comedy club tonight, the Tetris comic did a joke about pigeon missiles being used in World War Two apparently. He also did one about being threatened. The 'Extra murder' comic did one about being at the food truck fair, as well as ones about a new apartment and going to a strip club. The show closer was the bathtub comic. He did one about flooding at Valleyfair, the theme park in Shakopee. Another was about seeing a classmate in the bookshop he works in. After the show a woman asked him why all of the comics were men, and I had the list with me. I said the last ten comics were men, but there were some women earlier. I found out she would like to try doing comedy. We spoke for a while and I did share what works for me. I offer my advice to new comics if they want it.
    The rapper comic spoke of once being in car sales, the test drives, and former dealer Denny Hecker. Mr. Pibb did one about his lady's IUD poking him, and how he would fidget as a kid. IED/IUD did ones about Wall Drug, Walgreen, and a Liam Neeson movie. Netflix did one about how she talks too much, and understanding Jane Goodall because of her living arrangement. The Yemen native did ones about learning English, teaching Arabic, and working at a gas station. The school bouncer did ones about somebody asking if they look suspicious, a 100-year-old woman at his show, and the movie 'Blind Side'. The 'Resistable' comic did ones about her red air at Target, a hipster roommate, and her dad's cancer. Pottery Barn did one about being engaged to his lady. Bus fare did ones about a State Fair horse show, and muscle relaxers. The Wisconsin comic did ones about an orgy, at a county fair if I'm not mistaken, and yoga for his favorite football team. The Louisiana native did one about cooking a Jack's pizza on a grill. The Maryland native did ones about O'Doul's, hockey, and a date with a 'Trannie'. Postage stamp, though he didn't do the joke tonight, did one about a gay pro football player. The fever comic did one about deer suicide. 
    My car was in the shop today, two new tires were put on. I picked it up after work in the early evening. I do my best to listen to mechanics to prevent as many issues as possible. A medical office employee once said to me 'Know your body'. I find out this applies to cars too- 'Know your car'.  

Tie Dye Coat

      I went to the pancake breakfast this morning at Fury Motors in South St. Paul, as part of Kaposia Days. It was nice to see a 1914 Dodge car in the back of the showroom. This was a shorter visit compared to the previous day. Then I found two more historical markers before I left town.
  I needed to do laundry and I went to the one in Maplewood where I have gotten to know the owner, who calls me 'Iowa'. I wanted to check on how it was going with the coat, and it was shown to me. She said it was soaked in order to clean it and said the colors 'Flinched'- it looked like they bled into other parts of the coat. So I said it looked like tie dye. Hopefully it will be available soon, but some mending is still needed. I sent it there weeks ago, but haven't needed it since it is out of season.
   I did another guest set at the comedy club tonight, and I did more jokes about internet dating this time. I had wanted to do more of these jokes this time, so it meant getting to them earlier. And I knew I had when the jokes I did early one weren't getting many laughs. I liked discussing comedy after the show with the headliner, I noticed he did say 'As long as you enjoy it' more than once. I know this is an important part of doing comedy. I know this was comparable to advice I gave to a new comic after he saw me perform. I said 'Have fun up there, because if you don't enjoy it then why do it?' when asked what would be the number one piece of advice I could give.  

Church Basement Ladies Play

     I went to see a Church Basement Ladies play in Plymouth in the afternoon, it was the fifth and last in the series, known as 'The last potluck supper'. I had seen one other play in the series, the fourth, known as 'Mighty fortress'. I liked how they did laugh at themselves at times, like one character saying she couldn't live in a fake basement for the rest of her life. Later on it was how they couldn't envision anyone wanting to see a play about their church. There was a big crowd on hand, since it was the final weekend after starting back in August. One of the ladies was a klutz. Plenty of Bible verses were quoted when the ladies wanted to make a point. One framed poster there said it was originally to run until February but was extended due to popular demand. There was a wedding reception happening at the same hotel when the play was finished. It was also raining by then. I had an ice cream cone at a nearby McDonald's, then drove to the Bobby and Steve's in Minneapolis where I had a little Godfather's pizza. I listened to Laughing Matters on AM950 for the first time in a while, some of the discussion was about Iraq. Another topic was about CEO pay. I got groceries and was tired by then and decided to stay in for the rest of the night.
    I was out and about fairly early today, as I wanted to make it to an event before the play. I went to Kaposia Days in South St. Paul. I found two historical markers before reaching the festival in the middle of town, it was marking the sites of the Armour and Swift packing plants. I like seeing the Armour marker more as they kept the stockyard gates up, though they look a little trashy inside now. I saw a critter who had made a hole under the gate, but he was too shy to come out after seeing me. I liked seeing the Charlie Brown and Snoopy statues at Pro-X Pharmacy, where I got the festival button. I was behind somebody who was taking too long with buying lottery tickets, so I went in the back to the pharmacy part instead. I did eat at the festival, a hot dog and some bottled water. I liked hearing a DJ playing songs there, I recognized two in particular. One was 'Fancy' by Iggy Azalea and the other was 'Mmmbop' by Hanson. With the former at first I expected the title to be 'From LA to Tokyo' as it is the most memorable lyric. Surprising to find out how Iggy is Australian, haven't heard of rappers being from there before. I found the car show nearby at the Wells Fargo bank, it was moved from the high school due to construction. I saw a military Jeep from the 1940s, and liked seeing a Shelby Cobra there as well, a forerunner to the Mustang of the same name.

Count On Me, Bruno Mars

    Tonight I was watching TV after work and heard a song I really liked. Memorable lyrics were 'Count on me, like 123'. I found out it was 'Count on me' by Bruno Mars. It was in a Hyundai car commercial. It moved me like few other songs have, so I had to find it on Youtube. I like songs about friendship, and this one has some passion in it as well. It may be a simple song but it works for me.
   At the comedy club tonight, I was one of the performers. I did some of the same jokes compared to the guest set of the night before. The software developer did one about how he is not ready to be a grandpa. The big dog did one about a step-brother he doesn't have. Others were about getting married recently and his wife's horrific cackle. I like the voice impression of his dad. After the show ended I heard a Ben Folds song, a cover of a Dr. Dre song.
    The rut-roh comic did this joke. Others were about 'You're a ham', and asking a girl what her major is when hitting on her. The roller grill comic did one about an abortion billboard, his dad, and making a sandwich. Restaurant host- or two chains- did one about calling Comcast when needing a therapist, and old rappers. Poster artist did one about rabbits. Fantasia did one about sending her your way, and idiots think alike. Mr. Pibb did one about the 55 year old friend, a Garfield balloon at Macy's, and his lady's IUD poking him. Tortoise and hare did one about a DUI, and his dad was a journalist. Others were about cemeteries, and going to 9 by himself. University accountant did one about a gymnast. Some of the others were about 'That's so raven', and Tootsie Rolls. Hillary Clinton look-alike did one about sex and self-esteem. Others were about guacamole, selling diamonds and her body at a retail job, and the food baby.  

Guest Set Number 3

     I was thrilled to get some stage time tonight. Normally I don't go to the comedy club this day of the week. This guest set would be my third if I am not mistaken, and this one was longer, 5 minutes instead of 3. The headliner, who is from Canada originally, was willing to book me since we did crowd rap together when I was at a show in suburban Chicago in early March. I did include this story of how we met in my set. At first I went with a fake story, and said it was the storyline to the 1980s sitcom 'Perfect Strangers'. Though the real story was good on its own. I attended a show when I was back visiting some of my 'Old haunts' and we could hear each other just fine in the mall venue even though I was way in the back. I did one about finding 40 pennies in the downtown St. Paul skyway, outside of a US bank- where they have a change counter. I put them in a little bag and they were dumped in my change bank when I got home. Another was about visiting a classmate over the weekend who calls me 'A legend'- which led to my best bit of the night. The MC and the headliner liked mention of how I was bullied at church, and during the headliner's set I spoke of how when requested. And I did one about my dad discussing lead paint. I did get a 'Ring of honor' photo done after the show with the headliner and the feature act, a North Dakota native who was wearing a Batman shirt. 
    I knew well enough to show up early, I was there 30 minutes before show time as this is what I do when I am performing at an open-mic show. I checked in with the MC, the Alabama native and photographer, who shared how I got stage time on Facebook. I brought my video camera as I know I should use it more often to film myself doing comedy. I think I last used it nearly a year ago when I traveled to Mount Rushmore. After the show, a crowd member said to me that 'The nerdy look works for me'. I said I was being me, and if it is working I will continue with it. I liked how the headliner said he was familiar with some Twin City comics, he named the Oklahoma native as one of the two. The other was a comic who followed me on the night I performed with The Turkeys troupe in September. And I said it was helpful to hear some songs to remember this night. The one I picked was 'Applause' by lady gaga, same song I heard on the radio after The Turkeys performance. I heard it at the bar tonight.
   I saw the headliner after I completed my set as I needed to go to the bathroom, he said he made it just before the show began so he saw the set. I said I thought I did well even though I was stuck at one point, but I wasn't stuck for long. He did a quick interview that he said would be posted on Insta-gram, a service I haven't used yet.

Cheers, Drink To That, Rihanna

    Recently I heard a song that was catchy since it mentioned having Ray-Bans on, as in sunglasses. I did guess it was a Rihanna song and was correct, it was 'Cheers, drink to that'. After finding it on Youtube and listening to it there the lasting impression was the lyric about how 'Life is too short to be sitting around miserable'. Plenty of truth there. Hard to say how this compares to other songs by her, as they are all pretty good. She does plenty of collaborations, I seem to like those a lot. One is with T.I.- 'Live your life'. Another, Eminem- 'Love the way you lie'. Still another with Jay-Z and Kanye West- 'Run this town'. I think 'Who's that chick' is also a collaboration. 'Umbrella' is not, I once said I liked emoting (not 'Emo') to that one. The 'Ay' or 'Hey' repeated after 'Under my umbrella' is what I meant that I liked emoting to. It also has a memorable lyric- 'Said I would always be your friend, took an oath and I will stick it out until the end'.
   I lunched with the perky girl today, it was moved up one hour since I expected to be attending the senior leader's meeting right after it. I get stamped in from lunch and go to the venue and find out it was postponed as there was a burned out bulb in the overhead projector. It was annoying that five people no less felt the need to tell me, I heard it the first time. It sounds like the perky girl is still trying to sell her coffee shop, something about a loan from the Small Business Association didn't pan out. I liked telling her about recent travels, and I spoke of recent dates as well though there haven't been many and I didn't enjoy them enough to continue it.
   It was a good night at the comedy club as usual. The Hillary Clinton look-alike was MC. She did a guacamole and pound cake joke, along with what I would normally call the 'Food baby' joke but she didn't use that term while telling it. Another was about waxing. I have probably given a name to the next comic but not sure what, she did one about 'Locks of love' as well as her husband looking up heavy duty trannies. The ex-TSA comic did ones about traffic at a presidential visit, a car phone where I got a shout out, and the pound of rice. He also did one I really like- Tony the Tiger in winter. The fancy comic started off with how he is the best looking man in comedy, and about commercials he has done like Croc Hunter and car financing. The Texas native and barber did one about Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann on Jeopardy. Others were about candy crush, and a midget at an MLK speech.
   The preschool teacher impressed me by saying she reads this blog, and spoke of one entry from last month in particular. She did one about 'The wrong jack'. Others were about having music for her dog, and a caterpillar book. Also notable was the one about getting a catheter after being slipped the date rape pill. I had described it differently before, with fewer words. Whenever I am told somebody reads the blog, I am still expecting people to ask 'Who is Emerson Hough?' But I haven't had this question yet. A recent contest finalist did one about 'If you ask most Japanese people', as well as one about Gilbert Grape. The Kentucky native did ones about a cesspool, the boogie man, and 'We have a cat'.
   The big dog was show closer. Before the show I said it was always a treat to see him perform, and as expected I got an irreverent response that fits his comedy persona. I started liking the first joke, catching a yawn, once it progressed as he sold it well. Then there was the one about a Bruno Mars song. He spoke of recently getting married, and I saw the one about Basic Skills scores as brilliant. Another was about 'Used to be funny', and the 'Frightful cackle'. I like voice impressions, and he did one of his dad. Then there was ones about hemorrhoids, chivalry is dead, porn as motivational films, and slowpoke isn't good enough. I hadn't heard this variation of the porn joke but I liked mention of trying out a piano technique, this is something really specific that I couldn't have thought of since I haven't played piano at all.
    After the show, I liked discussing various subjects, with the bartender as well as the Texas native and barber. The latter was surprised to hear how speech was my worst subject in high school and college, but it is true. Apparently this means it is a big deal how I do comedy. He didn't see this as possible since I am told I am chatty. Well I can be when I'm among friends as I am more comfortable. I don't think in this respect that I am much different from others. And the other was with the big dog, when I was coming out of the club. I asked if he knows my laugh as many comics claim they do. I said I don't laugh at everything, and won't, but I laughed at most of his jokes. I spoke of how we make a good 'Straight and ham' comedy act, and our interaction proves it is still sharp but I think of myself as the straight part of the act as I am not much of a goofball.
   Most everything evolves and adapts, it has to in order to survive. I am no different, and I feel I have evolved and adapted to my environment in comedy. I would like to think I have shed the 'Aw-shucks' and shy persona in the comedy world. I know I have evolved regarding interactions with the big dog, why I've ever been self-conscious around somebody who has accepted me I don't know. It helps to pay attention to advice when given. Like one night I froze and didn't know what to do after a spill I caused, he knew what to do and normally I would too. But I felt bad about causing a spill and quietly berated myself for it. He said 'Just be my friend'- as to what I could do- and I can do that. I am aware of my former self, it was even written in a report card from elementary school. It said 'Try to be more tolerant of mistakes made'. I have had a hard time forgiving myself in the past, and others found it easier to forgive me. It does remind me of the saying about how reaction to what happens is more important than what happened. And the evolution also includes how this comic had a nickname change, as I realized it had to be done. It is rare for me to change a name after giving it.
    I know the tone of this entry is likely much different from most, readers. Understand that at times I must philosophize about myself. I do like to observe, and write these observations. But I am not a robot, a machine, and I still need to pause when necessary and take care of myself. I feel this makes my writing more effective- to write about myself- and know something about who is behind what is being written.   

Blatz, Schlitz, Pabst, Miller

    This morning a colleague said hi to me in passing and I spoke of some places I had been to recently, like the festival at the former Schmidt brewery. He is from Wisconsin and I am used to how he will recommend things from his native state. This includes Ella's Deli in Madison, part of a visit there last year. So he spoke of brewery tours in Milwaukee. I decided to do more research on my own and it is hard to tell what is all available for tours at the breweries there. According to Wikipedia it appears just one major brewer still operates there- Miller. I did their tour when I was young, but I no longer have the postcards from it like a statue of their founder. I recognized names of four historically Milwaukee beer companies- the other three being Blatz, Schlitz, and Pabst. There may also be tours of the former homes of these brewery leaders. But the fact remains that it will be hard to schedule for a while, even though I may enjoy some part of it. One of the articles spoke of how this was a 'Mount Rushmore' for the city, since there was four and these beers were prominent in the city for a while, including in philanthropy. I think there was even mention of a comedy show if I'm not mistaken about these four beers, especially when arranged properly the names sound funnier. I know I have two Schlitz postcards that I bought from a local antique shop, and a Pabst postcard from the Chicago World's Fair. I have drank Pabst at some local bars when there for a comedy show, but not too often.  Miller is a beer I drink even less often. I know Pabst is popular with hipsters, though I don't think of myself as one. I did like the hipster episode of The Simpsons, where they drank a Pabst knockoff at Moe's. Tavern.
   At the comedy club tonight, the Alabama native and photographer was MC. She said it was her first time in a while doing comedy, as she just had a baby in January. The big dog was near the end of the show, and did jokes about recently getting married. The Mason City native was added to the list, and did some about his wife being from Wisconsin and mention of regional terms confusing people like what they call ATMs there. The bus fare comic and sub teacher also performed. The show closer is from Fargo, and will be the feature act this week. He did a rambling joke about anxiety.

Heaven Knows, The Pretty Reckless

    Recently I heard a song that was familiar, since I had heard it while in St. Louis but didn't write it down. I recalled it to be catchy, with lyrics like 'We belong way down below'. It was 'Heaven Knows' by The pretty reckless. The video does help with understanding the song better. There are plenty of TV monitors, but I am not a fan of 'Sing it' being part of the lyrics. The overall theme seems to be about 'Lost souls', so it is familiar. It may be another reason why it is catchy. Not sure what to think of scenes where a book is being burned, eventually it is revealed that the title is 'God's fool'. Still need to research this particular book.
    Tonight at the comedy club, the show closer was the pizza surgery comic, hadn't seen him in a while. He did one about why he no longer drinks, and gave me a shout-out when doing his 'Mom swap' joke. The bathtub comic did one about a squirrel and a tomato, as well as ones about a bird nest and his hilarious 'Snapping turtle' joke. The 'Extra murder' comic did one about somebody's imagination. Others were about his check engine light and going to a strip club. The tortoise and hare comic did one about going to 9 by himself. The university accountant did one about a nametag on a billboard. The sub teacher did one about history tattoos, and smitten kitten. The next comic is one I haven't written about much, he did one about a gay pro football player. The opera singer was wearing a T-Wolves basketball shirt. The Worthington native did one about how he witnessed a 'Tough dad' speech. Others were about Brock Lesnar, and being a cyber bully to his dad. The Tetris comic did one about blood plasma.   

German Fest, Schmidt Brewery

     I started the day in West Des Moines but I was on the road less than an hour after I woke up. I showered, gathered up my belongings, and got a quick breakfast at a nearby convenience store after checking out of my hotel. There was plenty of rain early on in my drive, and I made just one stop along the way. It was in Clear Lake, IA, at the Casey's. I got some more baseball cards there, but it was tough to see when I got home and got all of them in binders how there was plenty of duplicates. I got two packs, one was 12 and the other 7, this weekend. Another pack of 36 was already at home, and 14 of them were duplicates I destroyed, about a quarter of them. During the drive I liked hearing Prairie Home Companion, and Wits, on public radio. Of the songs I heard, I liked 'Don't dream it's over' by Crowded House and 'Alive' by Pearl Jam. Also this weekend I liked hearing 'Tennessee Stud' by Johnny Cash, hadn't heard it in a while. I am wearing my Johnny Cash shirt today. I did one thing during the drive that I don't recommend: wrote down a quick note on top of the steering wheel. I told myself it shouldn't take long and I should be able to hold the wheel steady for long enough, and I was right.
     I liked how the drive was fairly uneventful, this time of year you never know with all of the road construction. Around Owatonna there was plenty of warnings how traffic may be backed up on the weekends, a lane merger and one exit was closed. But I didn't have to slow down at all. Maybe I was lucky since I went through it around 1pm and not sometime later in the day. It looked like it was backed up on the southbound side. I was getting tired, evident with some yawning, but I was nearly home by then.
   I made it back to the Twin Cities shortly after 2pm, turning off I-35 and deciding to go to a festival
first before going home. It was German Fest at the former Schmidt brewery on West 7th. I wanted to see the Rathskeller and found out a speech was in progress on arrival. I got plenty of pictures inside, as there was messages written in various languages in the rafters, mostly in German. There were 19 of these messages. I even liked seeing a diagram of the beer making process, it was near the entrance to the former gift shop on the same level. The diagram is a likely photo for my Facebook page. The light fixtures were supported by old wagon wheels. I liked hearing the speech as it did cover some things I was familiar with, like the nearby Marie Schmidt Bremer home, as well as the two beer heir kidnappings by the Ma Barker gang in the 1930s. It means they did cover some of the history of the other big brewer in St. Paul, Hamm's. I did eat there, having a bratwurst, and a pilsner beer. Later on I found a German chocolate donut. I also saw a fellow comic there, a real estate broker. I did pick up a souvenir besides the beer wristband, it was a cowbell somebody else had abandoned. It said 'German Fest at the historic Schmidt brewery'. The poster, shirt, or mug would have been much more expensive. I got more than 50 photos at this festival, as it was my best look at the complex since the artist lofts were completed.  

Bob Feller Museum, Van Meter

    I started the day in Omaha but plan on being on the road soon. I made it to the Bob Feller Museum in Van Meter, Iowa, before making it to Newton for a quick visit and finally Des Moines. It looks like there is a hypnotist scheduled for the Funny Bone in WDM tonight. This doesn't appeal to me much. I heard from a classmate who is training for a marathon and I did see him before evening, in Des Moines where he is a judge. I told myself I wanted to see a comedian at the comedy club, and not a hypnotist. So I decided to attend the Iowa Cubs baseball game after seeing my classmate. The Iowa Cubs lost to Albuquerque 4-0. I got a general admission ticket as that is all that was left when I showed up at the stadium. I did spot my dad after the game ended, in the concourse, but I didn't say anything.
   It was my first visit to the Bob Feller Museum since its first year in operation, in 1995. I got a little annoyed with another patron there as he didn't have his facts straight about various things. I liked seeing a copy of a book about Feller that I read in elementary school in the displays, it was by Gene Schoor. His bat that was in the iconic Babe Ruth photo from 1948 was on loan to another museum. I did get some souvenirs there, two postcards and some baseball cards. The trading cards were five for a dollar, and one was actually a football card- depicting Heisman Trophy winners from Notre Dame.
Many of the cards in the basket were of Gaylord Perry, and when I picked five just two were of Perry. One mentioned how he played for a minor league club in Minnesota- St. Cloud. The other cards were of Jim Bunning, and Ralph Kiner. One souvenir was free- a big card depicting Feller, and it was an ad for DuPont farm chemicals.
   I really liked seeing my classmate. When I arrived we went into the back and had a beer. His young son, 22 months, also made it outside. He told him to stay out of the kiddie pool, as he wasn't dressed for it. I liked how we spoke about various subjects, including his line of work. He said that in child custody court- as well as criminal- there are many cases involving methamphetamine. I said it was sobering to hear this, since it is scary to hear what meth does to users as well as to property when the labs explode. Another big topic was sharing notes about what our classmates were up to. He was surprised how no one noticed me during my quick Newton visit in the afternoon, but I wasn't looking anyone up either. I ate at Maid-Rite, a loose meat sandwich shop, as well as Dairy Queen. I also got a look at the Emerson Hough School grounds, getting photos of the brick path leading to what was 'The fort', a children's playground. It said 'Welcome to the fort' and 'In memory of Emerson Hough'. My final stop was at Maytag Park before I stopped for fuel and left for Des Moines. My classmate did say he hoped it would work in our schedules to meet up in Iowa City during football season, where we went to college. I had dinner with him as well outside, lasagna and salad.
   At the Iowa Cubs game I was standing for a while, but eventually I found a place to sit, it was at a picnic table. There was a big crowd, announced at over 11,000. After the game, I drove to my hotel in West Des Moines. It was in the newer section of the town, near Jordan Creek Mall.

Soaked In Omaha At CWS

     I went to see the College World Series in Omaha today, Virginia vs. Ole Miss. It is the evening game, two games were scheduled today. It was my first visit there since 2010, so it is the first time at the current venue, known as TD Ameritrade Park. I will have to see how bad the construction delays and flooding are along the way. It sounded like the flooding was bad in some parts of Minnesota this week. I didn't see much in terms of construction delays and flooding.
   I saw part of the game and it was put in weather delay in the top of 2nd inning, it was a scoreless tie. It was postponed and I got soaked after stepping off the shuttle bus when I went to my car. And I got soaked again getting out of my car to go inside to my hotel. I did like having the shuttle bus available, round trip was six dollars. The bus let you off across the street from the stadium. I was unsure how the logistics would work since I had just seen it at the previous venue, which was known as Rosenblatt Stadium. I looked around quite a bit before going inside, and got two souvenirs. One was a game program, the other was a postcard with the logos of the 8 teams that made the Series. There was a fan zone where I got food and drink, expecting it would be way cheaper than inside. I got a hot dog and some bottled water. I had a flash seat and my ticket was printed at the gate. I had a seat that was in the outfield area, down the right field foul line, so I could see straight on at the plate. One of my photos was of the catcher in the bullpen before the game. I did my best to stay busy during the weather delay, I mostly walked around in the concourse. I also bought some popcorn. We didn't see threatening weather at first, but were told it was put in delay as there was lightning in the area. But eventually it just poured and there was big puddles on the field. When the postponement was announced, it was said the game would be made up Saturday afternoon. It is not likely that I will stay around to see the game as it doesn't fit my schedule.  

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson

      I went to see a play tonight in Minneapolis, it was 'Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson'. It was a good mix of music, comedy, and history. I already left a comment on Facebook saying to the sub teacher how it made me think of him since he is one of the few I can discuss history with- aside from those I studied it with at the U. of Iowa. What I think I liked most about it was when they made fun of politicians. Some were presidents, like JQ Adams and Martin Van Buren. Others were not, like Henry Clay and John Calhoun. It was announced at the end how it was not meant to be historically accurate. But I was fine with this as I liked the satire in it. I liked how it was made relevant to the present time, like one sign held up when he was running for governor said 'Our governor can beat up yours'. This of course was in reference to Jesse Ventura being governor of Minnesota, since he was a pro wrestler at one point.
   The International Falls native posted something on Facebook about this blog, and there was a companion video from the Steve Martin movie 'The Jerk'. It was about how comedians are excited when written about here. I trust there aren't any people armed with weapons like at the end of the clip- after the Steve Martin character sees his name in the phone book.
    I was busy today at work and found out somebody finished some letters before I did, and they didn't tell me in advance that he would be working on them. I sent a message saying thank you. I also sent one to my boss saying I spent over an hour working on those letters and hated having to throw out 12 of them, out of 16.

Already Has A Grandma

    At the comedy club tonight, the lineup included some comics I hadn't seen in a while. The MC was the one who took third at last week's contest. He did the one where he asks if it is worth a hundred dollars. Others were about pro wrestling, Gilbert Grape, and 'Do it!' A comic I probably haven't written about yet may have had the best joke of the night, it was how he already has a grandma. He delivers groceries, and spoke of exorcising demons. It made me think of an Eminem song where he says he has them doing jumping jacks. A comic who works at another club did one about what his name means in Greek. Others were about losing weight, and getting advice while doing an oil change. The software developer did one about 2 monsters, and how he is not ready to be a grandpa. Auto-correct did ones about a couples dinner party, the buffet line, somebody with a neck wound, and Pinterest boards. The godmother did ones about a bucket list, yoga at church, bicycling, TPIR, being a math tutor, and play dates. The lunch lady did one about Michelle Obama, and Plymouth Rock. The university accountant did one about getting carded at a library, and how she once wanted to be a librarian. Others were about presidential libraries, Simon and Garfunkel songs, the Spice Girls, Pringles cans, and folding fitted sheets. The Kentucky native did ones about eating a big breakfast, your own Taco Bell, and having a positive body image. The conga line comic did ones about truck balls, and sad porn. The bartender did one about growing up in rural Wisconsin, and how some of his jobs means he is 'Just one of the girls'. And there was the taco-cat joke. The show closer was the laundry comic, he did the movie night joke.  

How Good Does It Feel, Empires

     I fell asleep after I got home from the comedy club but I liked seeing what was on TV when I woke up. It was David Letterman, and they were nearing the end of the show so it was the musical guest. He said it was a Chicago band if I'm not mistaken, the song was 'How good does it feel' by Empires. I found the song on Youtube, and I liked how it told the story further. It mainly depicts a motorcycle rider, and eventually you see more motorcycles. I loved the drumming in it, but those who know me best wouldn't be surprised to hear this.
   I was pleased how I got another shout-out about the blog, it was from the conga-line comic in a Facebook comment thread. Another comic asked who had a blog, I think it is the one I call the restaurant host. I also liked hearing how the boss man from one club reads regularly. I still wonder if the boss man performs comedy, as I haven't seen him perform yet. I know I mainly write about who is telling jokes, but he has been an exception.
   When I made it to the comedy club tonight, I asked the Tetris comic if he was on tonight. And it sounded like it was in doubt as to if there would be a show due to low turnout. There wasn't. But I liked getting a poster that was being handed out by a server, it was of the artwork by the stage depicting a cartoonish version of the downtowns of both Twin Cities. I found the International Falls native, Hillary Clinton look-alike, and the bus fare comic in the VIP section. This is where I was when I was given the poster. When we all had to move to the bar area I was able to get a photo with the International Falls native that will be added to my ring of honor. I was wearing the patriotic shirt, which of course gets comments every time. She had the over-sized check from winning the contest last week, and it made me think of a Simpsons episode. I think Principal Skinner said he wanted to cash it at a local bar in that one.   

Wearing Purple At Funeral

    Tonight at the comedy club, the school bouncer did a joke about wearing purple at a funeral on request. All he had was a Vikings jersey. I went onstage as well, doing some new jokes about my weekend in St. Louis. There were some no-shows, which is not typical. I liked hearing the 'Extra murder' comic discussing the business of comedy after the show.
   The tortoise and hare comic also did a joke about the gender gap and Gap stores. On the lineup I wrote 'Yay, me!' as I hadn't been on this stage in a while. I was followed by the IED/IUD comic, who also did a joke about a Liam Neeson movie. She also asked what to do with me. When the sub teacher took the stage it was confusing as at first the bus fare comic was announced. He did one about Ron Paul, and witnessing a baseball card sale. The Tetris comic did one about blood plasma. The Maryland native did one about condos, and Sammy Davis Jr. The university accountant did one about Simon and Garfunkel songs. The Louisiana native did one about cooking pizza on a grill. The next comic is one I haven't written about much before, as he now lives in Florida. In my notes I wrote 'Florida Fargo' as he is originally from Fargo. The 'Extra murder' comic brought back this joke and also did ones about moving into a new apartment, as well as one about ghosts. Part of the Wisconsin couple was there, he did a joke about Duluth beer and the Hindenburg. The fever comic did one about suicide deer. A comic I haven't written about much as she has been in California was next. She did one about her cousin's wedding, and how her masturbation caused flooding. She is also from Fargo, but I have to give her another name. She did have a joke I like about being cast for 'West Side Story'. The show closer did ones about makeup, spiders, and religion. He has done a joke about having a name like a founding father, how some in school tried to pick on him because of it.

Maplewood United Methodist Church

    This was my final day in St. Louis. After going to a convenience store to get a breakfast bar and milk I looked around at my hotel as I liked seeing the famous people pictures on the wall, who had flown on TWA. I wrote down the names again where it would be more legible than last year's, in caps and giving myself more space. I got one on the lower level which looked like a postcard reproduction of Lambert Airport, in the corner it said it was 6 miles from the city limits.
   Then it was on to a church service, Maplewood United Methodist. I wanted to find this church as part of the movie 'Up In The Air' was filmed there. I got a little crossed up trying to find the place, having to stop at a 7-11 when I was close, so I didn't make it for the start of the service. The sermon was about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and I liked how some of the message was about
word meanings, as in the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The pastor did spot me at the end of the service and asked if we had met before, I said no. I stated my business, saying I wanted to get some pictures since I loved the movie. I liked how she did share a little about it, saying they were pretty much kicked out when it was being filmed, but George Clooney was nice. I liked how the pastor also shared some about herself, saying she had grown up Baptist, a different Protestant church than were she preaches now. I saw a foosball table in the basement, and a soda pop machine, Pepsi. I liked how I found some helpful people who were fine with me getting some pictures there. This included the altar, and the nursery. The latter was likely where Clooney was asked to speak to the groom-to-be, and the groom was reading the Velveteen Rabbit.
   I went back close to where my hotel was, near the airport, and had lunch at a Mexican place I had heard of through the Delta Airlines dining program. I had a rib eye with beans and rice, and got a photo of a Tecate beer ad with a Corona street sign above it. But I had no beer here, I had ice tea.
   It was on to the Cheshire Inn, another site where the movie was filmed, this is near Forest Park. The front desk and bar area looked familiar, and there was a big Amoco sign nearby at the BP gas station. I picked up a map of Forest Park there and found more of those birthday cake statues in the park, 5 in all. So I found 14, as I found 2 today before I got to the park. One was in front of the Cheshire. Near the Worlds Fair pavilion I saw a security guard and asked about one being there, he said there was but a private party was booked for the evening so be discreet about it. I did one thing that I know is a good idea when dealing with people- choose words carefully. I said 'Good sir' at the start and end of our interaction. I think this goes back to what I was taught by my football coach in high school, about dealing with the refs. The one at the pavilion had an ice cream cone theme as the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis was known for where this treat became popular.
   I knew about how much time I had to walk through the park, so my final stop was the Art Museum. I didn't make it to the History Museum. I walked back to the Cheshire and got my car and drove back to the rental car place. I arrived in good time, didn't need to rush through security at the airport. It did raise some eyebrows with one of the giveaway items I had, the retired numbers canvas. They didn't know at first how to run it through security. When I reached the gate I liked seeing somebody with a Montana State shirt on, found out he is in college there for accounting and plans on going to graduate school as well. We spoke for a while before the flight about various subjects, and one of those was football. I noticed he had the same giveaway item in his bag. Eventually he needed to go get some coffee. He was connecting flights at MSP, though we were a few minutes late on departure. I hope he made his flight back to Montana. He got the last business card I had with me, I said I would need to get more when I get home as I don't carry all of them with me. There is still a decent number in a box in my home. My seatmate had a Regent University shirt on, he said he was working on a PhD and was working for US bank, explaining why he was flying to the Twin Cities as he was there on business.
   And there was the music. I wrote down 5 performers to remind me of what I liked hearing today, mostly on the car radio. There was Brad Paisley, I'm just a guy. Stone Temple Pilots, Interstate love song. LaRoux, Bulletproof. Nirvana, Come as you are. Smashing Pumpkins, Tonight Tonight. The middle one was when I was inside a boutique getting a few magnets as souvenirs.
   I called my dad when I got back as it was Dad's Day. He had wondered about the last call, I said it likely ended as I lost the signal due to being in a parking ramp. When I checked out of the hotel before midday the desk clerk said it was Dad's Day, which reminded me of how I should call my dad. Also notable about this time at the front desk was seeing a family wearing super-hero capes. They asked me to take a camera phone picture of them. And I did. I didn't think about asking for one on my own camera. I recall their young boy, couldn't have been any older than five, was wearing a green one with dollar signs on it. I made a joke, wondering if Richie Rich was unavailable. I think two of them had the same type, Superman. The boy looked at my bag and I said you will understand that one later in life. I figured he was looking at the tag on it, which shows a woman with a word balloon saying 'We all have baggage'. Figured this was the best way to explain it.

St. Luke's Hospital, Chesterfield

    I started off the day at a Waffle House for breakfast after getting my rental car. Then it was on to see a friend in the hospital who is having surgery. She is at St. Luke's in Chesterfield. I did fine for most of the drive but made a few wrong turns when I was close. In fact I went to an outpatient clinic at first. I noticed it had a sign about Albert Pujols, the baseball player. The Down syndrome center was named for him, he would be the benefactor. Once I found the parking ramp at the hospital I still needed to make my way through a rat maze to the part I needed to be in. I went to the gift shop and got a card as I didn't want to arrive without a gift. Then I asked where I could sit down and write it out, was directed to a nearby chapel. I said I didn't want to look like I was loitering. Then it was on to see my friend. When I arrived she had two friends in the room, and her parents showed up as well. Her mom spoke of me, saying you were the one that had lunch with her last year. I was, and said I was flattered and modest when informed her daughter spoke well of me. I called myself an 'Aw-shucks', shy, small-town Iowa kid. Her mom said they were from a small town as well. Her friends were a couple, the husband was interested in how I attended last night's baseball game. The wife spoke about health care, I asked about her job and she said she was a dental hygienist. She also said
something about working in hospitals for a while. My friend's cousin then showed up, and was interested in hearing how I do stand-up comedy. When I left it was shortly after her friend from a book club arrived, and said her other book club friends would be arriving soon. I had been there for just over two hours by then, and I needed to move on to go do other things. The song 'Landslide' by The Dixie Chicks was playing as I drove away from the hospital. I did go back to the gift shop as I wanted a paper, and a stamp for my postcard to send back home. I liked how my friend said I could have some of the candy brought by the first couple, I chose the Reese's peanut butter.
    Music is everywhere, to some it may be stale to hear me say this. But it's true. I liked how I got some comments to a Facebook posting this morning after eating at the Waffle House, since I got four songs played on the jukebox for a dollar. They were: Sunday Morning, Johnny Cash. Applause, Lady Gaga. Love the way you lie, Eminem and Rihanna. Wake me up when September ends, Green Day. The university accountant was surprised to hear they still had jukeboxes. The bus fare comic said he missed Waffle Houses with a passion.
   I had hoped to make it to Forest Park before the game but didn't have the time, hopefully I can tomorrow. I headed downtown on Metro-Link and got out at the Busch Stadium stop, then went to the Arch as I wanted a smashed penny souvenir. I got a few other items as well. Postcards were five for two dollars, and I got a wooden magnet, commemorating the 150th anniversary of the Civil War. Then it was on to Ballpark Village, I got a look at the part of the Hall of Fame before going inside the museum. It was $12 to tour the museum, also couldn't justify the time when I wanted to go inside the stadium fairly early and get the giveaway item, the Cardinal blanket. It was a night where people could bring their dogs. I liked having some ice cream in a little souvenir helmet. I also got a hot dog with fried sauerkraut if I'm not mistaken. The couple next to me liked to hear me speak of how I make annual visits for Cardinal games, I gave them my business card so they could read my blog. They did tell me of meeting online, and another couple in my section said they met online as well. So I like to know how it works for some, but it hasn't for me yet. The husband spoke to me more, and his wife was between us. She did speak of some of the demographic problems with education, and I liked hearing about this. He said he had been to a Shop and Save grocery store in the airport suburbs where I found a plaque celebrating the 1934 Cardinal team, known as the 'Gashouse Gang'.
   I should also write about the game! The Washington Nationals scored early, and were up 1-0 in the first inning. St. Louis tied it in the 3rd. Then the Cardinals got 3 more in the 7th, the first was a solo home run by Matt Adams, and went on to win 4-1. The crowd was announced at over 44,000, about 3,000 more than Friday. No surprise there, as more out-of-towners tend to make it on a Saturday. I got my name on the video board as the St. Louis tourist bureau wanted to hear where fans were from. I got a picture of it when my name appeared on the board. After the game I walked around downtown for a little while and found more of those birthday cake statues. Two of them were found near The Arch before the game, the number found is now at seven. There was one at the Old Courthouse, one in a park, and one at the Hilton. The Hilton cake was about a military battle, which happened on the site in the 1700s. I made it to two hotels where the movie 'Up In The Air' was filmed, one of these was the Hilton. I found this was the best time to go in and get photos, as there was a big crowd after the game and I blended in well. This meant fewer people would ask questions about what I was doing. I prefer to leave before I am asked to. In one I asked if I needed help, I said no. It was at an information desk and I picked up a card about the hotel. And there was the music here of course! While in one I liked hearing 'This Love' by Maroon 5, a song I have spoke of before. It reminds me of how much my life has changed in 10 years. Then there was 'Springsteen' by Eric Church that a cover band was playing. I got a photo of somebody with an event staff shirt on enjoying the music from afar. I like 'Springsteen' as the lyrics explain why I write about music constantly. 'Funny how a melody becomes a memory' as I often connect music to certain memories, in terms of where I have heard it played. The ride back to the airport was largely uneventful, since the lion's share of the baseball crowd had been on the earlier trains. It sure was uneventful compared to the ride in, where I saw some kid try to play '3-card Monty'. I said wasn't that exposed as a fraud years ago?      

Kraftig Beer

    Tonight I had my first Kraftig beer, after the baseball game I attended. I noticed it was available at the hotel bar. During my annual visit to St. Louis last year I saw plenty of ads for it, and it did raise eyebrows when I saw the Busch name on it. This beer tasted fine, kind of like Heineken to me, and
the bottle said it was a light. According to my online research before this visit an article said that William Busch was the only Busch family member not forced to sign a no-compete agreement after In-Bev of Belgium bought Anheuser-Busch. It is brewed under contract in La Crosse,WI.
    I am pulling out my camera now to look at all of the pictures taken today. I tend to take plenty while traveling. I know there was a decent number taken before the flight left MSP, and even more before I left Lambert Airport in St. Louis. Fifteen were taken after leaving the airport, and 38 were taken since I had arrived at MSP. It started with the ticket counter for Delta which is seen before going up to baggage claim. I got some postcards, and Godfather's Pizza. I saw art for a beer brewed in New Ulm, appears to be Hauenstein. I thought it was funny on some level to see a video game room named for Charles Lindbergh, the famous pilot. It was called 'Lucky Lindy's'. There is a replica of his Spirit of St. Louis plane hanging from the ceiling and one wall said 'Lindbergh does it!' which was about his famous flight from New York to Paris in 1927. I saw some wall postings about the history of Lambert Airport, some of it was mentioned in the movie 'Up in the air'. Finally there was the hotel. I went for a dip in the pool and there was four young men in the pool when I arrived. When I dunked myself at the start, I said 'Now that feels better' and they laughed. So I guess I can do an impromptu comedy show most anywhere. After getting two cookies and some bottled water at a Subway sandwich shop, where I heard 'Paparazzi' by Lady Gaga playing, I got onto their light rail system, known as Metro-Link, and headed downtown to the stadium. I liked seeing a banner at the stadium's stop advertising Nathan's hot dogs, just $3, across the street from the Stan Musial statue. So I had one as it is a good deal. I got a quick look at Ballpark Village, since the city was first settled by the French there is a Fleur-de-lis as part of the welcome sign. This is also part of the city's flag. I saw a birthday cake statue outside the stadium, celebrating the city's 250th anniversary. I later saw another one at the airport after the game.
   I did get the giveaway of the night, which was a retired numbers wall canvas. I saw how some posed for pictures in front of various statues outside the stadium, holding it like a bat. At the main souvenir shop I was pleased with what I found there. I passed on the socks, just one of them was red. But I liked finding a team set of cards, didn't have one yet. Yadier Molina, their All-Star catcher, is the first card. I also found a Charlie Brown and Snoopy magnet, a sheet of stickers, and a postcard. Now I have a replacement sticker for my cellphone, the one I had on it just plain finally wore off but it was really old and had been on earlier phones.
   I should also write about the game, the main reason why I am in town now. The Cardinals beat the Washington Nationals 1-0. I wasn't comfortable throughout as I know it is hard to win this type of game. I saw one of these in 1999 in Detroit, the final year at Tiger Stadium. The game's only run was on a home run, the team leading pulled the starter after 8 innings, and the team trailing sent more than one pinch hitter in the 9th. And it was of comparable duration, 2 hours. Cardinal first baseman Matt Adams had the home run tonight, in the 2nd. I did recognize some former Twins players tonight, as Denard Span was leadoff hitter for the Nationals. The Cardinals had Pat Neshek, the sidearm pitcher, warming up in the bullpen but he did not pitch tonight. Cardinal starter Lance Lynn threw more pitches than Nationals starter Jordan Zimmermann, but still won. And of course there was the music. During the game there was a trivia question, and one clue was the song 'Folsom Prison' by Johnny Cash. The answer was 1968, same year Bob Gibson recorded an ERA of just over 1.00. Another was 'Holiday Road', a song from the movie 'Vacation'. I also thought of another song before the game as I was about to take the escalator up to my seat. It was 'Who's that chick?' by Rihanna. It was due to the following lyrics: 'I just want to dance, I don't really care.' These are sentiments I agree with. Then it led me to think of 'Hotel California' by The Eagles, as one lyric was 'Some dance to remember, some dance to forget'. I think I do both. Really odd was how 'Hotel' was a song mentioned between innings, as fans were asked to guess what the next lyric was.
  Then there was getting back to the hotel after the game. I didn't want to wait in long lines for Metro-Link at the Busch Stadium stop, so I went up one stop before it. This meant having to transfer at Forest Park so I could still get back to the airport, since there are Blue and Red lines. The Red line goes to the airport. Upon arrival back at my hotel, the Airport Hilton, I have the beer but I am not served right away, the bartender seemed to be busy with various things for a few minutes. A hockey game was on, Stanley Cup final, and the LA Kings beat the NY Rangers in the second overtime to win the series 4-1. I heard someone in the background ask someone else 'Can I vent?' more than once. I turned around and said it didn't surprise me much. I found out it was a pretty girl in a strapless black dress, brown hair but not quite shoulder length, and had a tattoo on her left shoulder blade. For some reason it made sense to me, not sure why, when I saw who said it.

Last Comic Standing Semifinals

     I stayed in tonight and got caught up on various things. This included shredding some junk mail. Later in the evening it meant watching the semifinals of Last Comic Standing on NBC. The bathtub comic did a joke about his lesbian mom kind of hoping he would be gay. It did not appear that he advanced, but he is still a talented comic. He has been in my 'Ring of Honor' for a while, as I have his comedy CD. With the other comics I liked one who had a joke about father figures. Women say they want them for their kids, so he said then find the father.
   At work there was a quick meeting in the afternoon, I was a little late as I had just returned from lunch and needed to get stamped in. I call these things 'Conventions' as they sound more classy, as conventions are held at hotels. I have an 'Inaccurate yellow sign' posted when I am at a convention. When I was doing letters I had my first to send to Canada, province of Newfoundland. I found out we do treat these differently, an envelope with a Canadian return address for our business is used.
   I watched two episodes of 'Big Bang Theory' tonight. The syndicated rerun was at a Halloween party, and Penny's ex showed up. Sheldon went as the Doppler effect. The prime time episode was when Sheldon was trying to study comedy and think up the best joke ever. Penny got a role on a TV show but it was cut out, and then she proposed to Leonard.     

Everybody Wants Justice Done

     I went to another Vietnam event at Mosaic Café in Minneapolis tonight. Some musicians started off the event, the guitar player was named Nigel. Notable in one of the songs was the line 'Everybody wants justice done'. I had chicken tenders there as I hadn't eaten dinner yet, as I decided to go over
there right after getting off the bus from work. I gave my business card when requested as I was informed they were looking for more spoken word people and they heard how I do comedy. Then it was on to the comedy club. The sub teacher was show closer. He did the one about Smitten Kitten as well as one about throwing Megan Fox in the same category with Charles Barkley. Others were about 'You mean books', women who keep playing house, and the movie 'Saving Private Ryan'. The school bouncer did ones about first dates, golf, Redbox, and taking time to order at McDonald's. The software developer did one about how he is not ready to be a grandpa. The university accountant did one about somebody saying it was 'God's will' after they had 7 drinks. Others were about old liquor stores, pedal pub, babies in the office, and the Rubik's cube. The lunch lady was in health club management. The godmother did one about her bucket list. Others were about sleep apnea, an eating disorder, acronyms, dog surgery, and candy stripers. Conga line did ones about 'Get a garage', and truck nuts. The Texas native and barber did one about Candy Crush, and midget sidekicks. The Kentucky native did one about his body image, and a crowd member who was bad at talking. The preschool teacher did ones about the song 'Down by the bay', and the caterpillar book.  
   Riding the bus to work this morning, I was thankful to get to know another rider better. This is the Science Museum employee. She spoke of growing up in Chicago housing projects, same one Kirby Puckett was in and going to school with Mr. T. This is probably the Robert Taylor homes. She is planning on going back to visit in August, to the northwest suburbs which I am familiar with. It was nice to hear town names like Hanover Park and Hoffman Estates again. She also spoke of what closed on 9/11, like the El-trains and the Sears Tower. I knew about some of it as a suburbanite.

Rounding Up Envelopes

    Near the end of my workday they started rounding up envelopes, due to a name change. I informed them how I still had some letters to complete so I was allowed to keep a few to finish my work. After work I checked my phone on the bus and two text messages from a friend were there. I usually check my phone daily, but didn't on Monday so they had been waiting for a little while. This friend told me about having surgery soon, not sure what for. I said I need to know where, and will do my best to visit when I can. I did also send an apology for the delayed response.
   Tonight at the comedy club was the finals of the contest. It was a full house, and this is not really seen much aside from Dominos Pizza night. There was a long line waiting to get in, and I passed them and found out they could get me in but it was harder to find a seat. I knew I was more likely to get in, being a regular. There were six in the finals, some had not been written about yet. The first was the former ad agency employee. I like her joke about the Minneapolis tornado of a few years back. The other would be one who does a joke about the mating call of crows. He also had a good one about people tied to a railroad track. With those I am familiar with, I don't think I heard many new jokes. The other four were the Pizza Philosopher, the Belarus native, Turtle Check, and the International Falls native. The last of these four I think told the most new jokes, like one about coffee table books about toilets of the world. She was the winner, and liked being introduced to her parents after the show. I like hearing the pizza stories from Pizza Philosopher, as I once delivered pizza myself so it is relatable. The Belarus native seemed to have a hard time finding the stage when his name was called, and he was wearing the tiger shirt like last week and it meant some jokes about it. I heard somebody heckle and found out it was one of the judges, who was ripped by another judge, known as Self Checkout. Turtle Check was second, and I like the ones about a swear word and wearing turtleneck sweaters, the origin of 'Turtle check'. The show closer was the Perkins employee, and he had more jokes about working there. It included one about a woman asking if it was Red Lobster.

Office Max To Olive Garden

    Tonight at the comedy club, the opera singer did a joke about somebody hoofing it from Office Max to Olive Garden. The show closer was the Tetris comic, doing jokes about a movie shirt ('A Haunted House'), ear plugs, and attending Comic Con. The sub teacher did one about his dating relationship- 'You mean books', and Smitten Kitten. The Perkins employee did one about cowboy kids. The radio employee did one about her 6-year-old and how her sister is shooting squirrels. The Louisiana native did one about booze in Wisconsin. The Worthington native did ones about witnessing a 'Tough dad' speech, and watching a girls basketball game. The fever comic at first appeared to be a no-show, but he followed the Worthington native. The Maryland native did ones about everything is broke and he is broke, along with being at the gas station, and having a marketing degree. The university accountant did one about popular names, and liquor store signs.
   It was a long day at work as I had high volume on the payoff report and had to print out plenty of contracts. But this is typical when starting off the week. I am more of the type now that doesn't wait until it is finished in order to go to lunch, as I don't want to end up going to lunch really late like after 2pm or even 3pm.    

L.A. Confidential Movie

     I watched a movie on loan from the library this afternoon. It was L.A. Confidential. A fellow comic said it was his favorite. Mine is 'Good Will Hunting', at theaters around the same time, early 1998. This one was all right, good cast, but not a big fan of crime dramas. The story was fairly simple to follow, about corruption on the police force. And there was the millionaire who ran a call girl ring, women made up to look like actresses. Russell Crowe, Danny DeVito, James Cromwell, and David Strahairn were in it, and I like those actors. I know it was an Oscar winner, much like Good Will Hunting.
   I called a college roommate this morning while doing laundry, not available. I called another one after watching the movie. He lives out east, the one I call Mr. Physics, and said he had just been to the Belmont Stakes this weekend. He had seen another Triple Crown race before, the Kentucky Derby, when he was based in Memphis and traveled a lot for work. He didn't speak well of Belmont, saying they were ill-prepared for the crowds, not having enough food and drink for all. He spoke of changing jobs soon. No surprise how the two options mentioned were Japan and Chicagoland. He has family in Chicagoland, and loves Japanese culture, explaining why he was there twice before.
   There was a problem with the Anti-Virus protection, so I called the number in the disc case, was sent to Geek Squad by Best Buy. It took a little while to take care of it entirely, but I liked how the technicians were more than competent. It meant I had plenty of time while the second one was installing to take care of things around my home. I shared a story with the first about doing call-center work. It was when a caller wanted somebody to talk to, in addition to his need for customer service. I said I was a typical citizen, but we probably don't like the same sports teams when we live in different parts of the country. This one told me one caller wanted to talk about his divorce, and no I wouldn't have wanted to hear about it either.  

Bill Murray Shirt At Saints Game

   Tonight I went to the St. Paul Saints game, it was a giveaway event. I showed up much earlier than typical for this reason, as I wanted the Bill Murray shirt. He is shown wearing a Saints hat on it. The sponsors on the back are Walser Automotive Group and 45-TV. Since I arrived before the gates opened I was there fairly early, and walked around a lot before the game. I did get food and drink, a jumbo hot dog and some bottled water. I also got an ice cream sandwich after I was done with the hot dog. Midway through the game I got a bag of peanuts, and I finished half of them at the game. The Saints beat the Sioux City Explorers 4-3. The Saints scored single runs in innings 1,4,5, and 7. Sioux City tied it in the 3rd on a solo home run, and got two more in the 9th. They loaded the bases but a strikeout ended it. I got 19 pictures today, and most were at the Saints stadium. Two were at the Roseville library, a kickoff of their summer reading program. I got one of a guitar player at the library. Later on there were two in pirate costumes, I joked about Pittsburgh Pirates but knew full well it was Pirates of the Caribbean. While waiting in line there was plenty about the movie 'Ghostbusters', as the shirt giveaway was about celebrating the 30th anniversary of this movie. I saw a blowup doll of the Marshmallow Man, and there were three cars. Two of them were station wagons, but the third did look like a Cadillac hearse like in the movie. Some were dressed in Ghostbuster costumes. A lady World War Two veteran was honored, she was on the field during the singing of the national anthem.
   I got plenty of errand running done before the game. It started with taking change to the bank, and the total, just over seven dollars, was deposited in savings. On to the Goodwill in Roseville, where I found some photo frames and some good used books. There was five books, and one of them was Fast Food Nation, which later became a movie. After the library I went to the Twins pro shop, and got a small all-star game pennant. I found one of the employees there to be annoying. I got home and rested, then got groceries. I knew some of the errand running could wait until Sunday. There is not much left aside from doing laundry and going to Walgreen to get pictures on a CD. I should be able to find the time to watch a movie on loan from the library as well.

Snoopy Figurine At Twins Game

   I went to the Twins game right after work, getting off an hour early, to increase the odds of getting the Snoopy figurine that was being given away. I arrived before the gates opened and milled around a little, seeing promoters for South Dakota tourism. It was 4 people in Mount Rushmore costumes, but at first they didn't have their heads on. I was pleased to make a find in the souvenir shop, as they did have the Charlie Brown and Snoopy pennant again. I also got a pin that had the characters on it. There were some mini-statues available but they were picked over, not too many left. Somebody decided they wanted the remaining Linus, I said I didn't want it at the given price on the box, which was $29. I know it is best to spread out the cost on these things, so on my next visit I can consider getting it. Naturally, those are similar to the exclusive one being given out tonight. I walked a lot before the game as I had 2 hours before game time. I made 4 laps around the main concourse. It was long enough to see how they needed just over an hour to give away the 10,000 figurines. I would have guessed less time, but it was a Friday evening so people probably don't show up as early as they would on say a Saturday or Sunday. After 6pm I finally decided to find my way up to my seat in the upper deck. This was where I got my food and drink for the night, a bratwurst and a bottle of water. I also took a 'Selfie' on this level, it took me 4 tries before I found one I liked. I wanted one of me wearing The Turkeys shirt since I had been to 2 of their shows recently and the Stillwater show was tonight. I had to exchange the water as I couldn't get it open. I worked on it for a wile, and an older couple in my row tried as well, to no avail. I was told they had to toss it and thankfully I was given a bottle that did open. I checked it right at the counter. I did this shortly after Snoopy threw out the first pitch. Just before the players were to take the field, the game was put in rain delay and the tarp was brought out. This was due to a threat of rain and lightning, but no lightning was ever sighted. It did rain a little, but it seemed needless to do this before any rain. The delay was for over an hour. Once the game started the Twins had trouble fairly early, falling behind 2-0 in the fourth after the Houston Astros hit two solo home runs in consecutive innings. Houston added 3 more in the 6th, and this proved to be enough as Houston went on to win 5-4. The Twins got 3 in the 7th and 1 in the 8th. I liked discussing baseball with the older couple that tried to help me with the water bottle, at least the husband anyway. The wife said 'Don't you know, country music is most popular' late in the game. This was in response to what song won the fan poll at the stadium, a Best Buy- sponsored event. It was 'Fishing in the dark' by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. Though the other two were also country- 'Thank God I am a country boy' by John Denver and 'Cheap Seats' by Alabama. I figured Alabama would win since theirs was a baseball song. After the game I liked chatting a little on the light rail with a young couple from Waterville, they informed me it is near Faribault. There was a stadium employee on the same train, but I found her to be annoying. She seemed to be a lot like somebody I used to know, wanting to talk to me when I didn't. She claims she got the Snoopy figurine from somebody as a tip, and her Delaware North uniform suggested she was a food or drink vendor at the game. I liked how I didn't have to wait long at the airport for the bus home. It was just a few minutes. At that time of night the buses are just twice an hour.

Sam Kinison

   Tonight I dealt with a computer not working, and I called for customer support at Century Link. I think my ranting near the end would have made Sam Kinison blush, and he was known for howling. I have a new modem now, and after the start up took a while it looks like all is well again. As most would expect to hear, I would have preferred a different way to spend the evening besides driving to a mall kiosk to get the modem. I made it a Facebook posting and got some likes from it already, saying I likely got some comedy material from it. Sam Kinison was known for is rant about Ethiopia- 'You live in a desert! We got deserts but we don't live in them'. I also saw him in the movie 'Back to School'.
    I did see Last Comic Standing tonight on NBC. The bathtub comic advanced, doing a joke about rescue dogs. A segment was done about the Wisconsin couple as well. I did see 2 episodes of 'Big Bang Theory', but the syndicated rerun was on when I called customer service so I didn't pay much attention to it. This was the one were Sheldon and Leonard go see Penny's ex and lose their pants. The prime time episode was the Christmas edition, a takeoff of It's A Wonderful Life and Sheldon helps deliver his sister's baby in Texas.  

Shooting Squirrels

   At the comedy club tonight, the show closer was the one I saw perform at the Wits show less than a week ago. She did do the Wisconsin cabin bit, but I also liked a newer joke about her sister shooting squirrels to save her flowers. The Texas native and barber left shortly after he performed, but I let him know he helped me with one joke I could do. This was my first joke when I performed, how Sportclips has cable TV. I also did ones about my dental appointment after work, my dad's take on lead in paint, seeing my ex again, and a recent Internet date.
   The school bouncer did one about black Jesus. Texas barber did one about candy crush, and why he doesn't have cable. Pottery barn did one about being engaged, like starting a battle. There was also last supper, elephant teeth, and flying a kite. University accountant did ones about an Audi, Pringles, liquor laws, and Coca Cola hilltop singers. The godmother did one about a bucket list, binge eating, 2 soccer teams, yoga at church, and JV landscape. Laundry comic did one about a TV/VCR combo, then bakery prison hooker. A comic I haven't written about yet, who had been introduced as a second favorite son, did one about Terminator 2. The bartender did one about guns and drugs, and growing up in rural Wisconsin. Others were about being one of the girls, and taco cat. A comic I haven't written about yet, but I think has done a bit about locks of love, did one about self-driving cars. There was also something about poison ivy at camp, done by the comic who likes his Black Flag and Twins hats. From what I can tell from sketchy notes. It can be hard to read when written in a dark room.
          

Origins Of Ska Music

    At the comedy club tonight, I liked seeing the Mason City native before the show as we did a follow up to last week's reference to the song 'Get up Edina'. I said I had listened to it on Youtube. He said the origins of ska go back to Jamaica gaining independence from Great Britain, in 1962. So it would be considered celebratory music. I did read further on the Wikipedia page and saw how it did cover the part about independence, along with 3 waves in the history of this genre. It was described as upbeat, and I agree with this. It was influenced by calypso along with rhythm and blues. When I saw mention of Rock-steady along with Reggae as related genres, it was more familiar to me. I knew the band No Doubt was considered to be ska, and one of their albums is called Rock Steady.
   I did listen to the song again on Youtube. Like most things, it can get better the second time I hear it or experience it. The lasting impression was hearing the horns, and how it is definitely lively and I am often in the mood for lively music. Earlier I mainly paid attention to the lyrics, about being sent back to Mama and Papa, along with being sent to school and church. He is known for exposing me to music I hadn't heard before, and I like to write about this subject. I am hopeful to get some more recommendations of course.
    It was another edition of the contest, the second semifinal. Three advanced, and I knew all of them. The Belarus native did plenty of jokes about his tiger shirt he bought at the Minnesota Zoo in Apple Valley. But he also did the one about the Rolling Stones. The International Falls native did ones about the 10,000 word argument and about her IUD. A comic I will call Pizza Philosopher did these jokes, about delivering pizza as well as majoring in philosophy. The preschool teacher did not advance but I liked her jokes about obesity being more common than hunger, along with singing lines from a song. The lyrics were: kind of funny, kind of sad. Found out it was 'Mad World'. I found it on Youtube, under Gary Jules. It is a cover, the original was by Tears for Fears.
   I also had to look up definitions of some words, after using them when responding to a Facebook posting from the big dog. He has called me a blackguard and dirty land pirate, I know that coming from a friend it is meant in good fun. But this time I was the one who used these terms. Blackguard is better known, unprincipled and a scoundrel. The other I found on Urban Dictionary. Someone who is rarely on the Internet and doesn't understand most Internet terms, and takes something offensive too seriously. This was one of them anyway, the last of the six definitions. The others were more closely what pirate means, a modern day gypsy.
   I called my dad after the show as I noticed on my voicemail tonight that he had called on Sunday, apparently when I was on the light rail on the way to the comedy show. I said I couldn't chat for long, as I needed to get home.  He had moved into town recently and gave me his new address, and said there were tornado warnings in southern Iowa tonight. I lost the call as I was about to reach my car in the ramp, as he said something about primary elections in Iowa. I know he likes this subject.       

Living In A Doll Factory

    Tonight at the comedy club, the bathtub comic did one about living in what was a doll factory. The show closer was the 'Extra murder' comic. He did jokes about attending a wedding in Kentucky, bullfighting, watching 'Labyrinth', an antique car horn, and North Dakota tourism. Before the show I was filmed by the Belarus native who was doing a video in support of the 'roller grill' comic. Or was it his birthday? I shared two stories, how we both acted in a skit and I wore a wig. The other was how I like getting roller grill items like he does, as I want the points for my loyalty program.
   The Maryland native did one about how everything is broke, and he is broke. There was also the one about reality shows. A comic I probably haven't written about yet did one about being the king of Minnesota. He has done a joke about who he would go gay for. Another one I haven't written about did one about being stuck in the snow in the Michigan UP. He has done one about famous people names, since he was once teased in school about his, same name as a founding father. The university accountant did one about the hilltop singers in a Coca-Cola ad. The Tetris comic did is set with an I-pad around his neck, it was the set from Last Comic Standing. A newer comic did ones about majoring in philosophy and delivering pizza. Turtle check did one about a swear word, Discover Card, changing shapes, and pickup lines in Oklahoma. The Worthington native did one about a Brock Lesnar match, and a tough dad speech he witnessed. The opera singer did one about mushrooms and acid, as I recall somebody he knew who did it.
   No new titles at work today, lower volume on payoff report, so it was easier to finish all of the letters that were waiting, 11 in all.     

Nathan's Hot Dogs

    It was a full day for me. One of the events I went to was Grand Old Day in St. Paul, I walked the entire route. I was pleased to get free photos at Nathan's hot dogs, they are known for their hot dog eating contest. Notable was stopping at the roller girls tent and they misheard a word about how I have comedian friends. One photo I got was of two young men in Batman shirts and pig masks. I liked hearing 'Edge of Glory' by Lady Gaga on one stage. There was mechanical bull rides as well. The first event of the day was the Children's Festival, also in St. Paul. I parked my car downtown and walked to the festival, then to Grand Old Day, and yes my feet hurt by the time I got back to my car. At the Children's Festival I got a photo of a stilt walker. I also spotted an usher-tainer from the St. Paul Saints baseball games, found out he is a magician. We exchanged business cards.
   I wasn't home for long after these two events, long enough to check email and eat dinner. Then it was on the road again, to The Turkeys comedy show in Minneapolis at a gentlemen's club. They did have their regular show after the comedy show, and I didn't stay around for long but I saw a few of the dancers on stage. I laughed a lot much like at the Friday shows. The voice impressions really work for me, especially the Ricky and Joe show. The diner skits were shown, I am in the last of the 3. It was fun to see the dancers introduce the comics. The big dog got a lap dance at the end of the show, and his bride-to-be got to watch it on stage. It sounded like it was unexpected that she would be a part of it. It was my first time at this kind of establishment in years. But I found out the term does apply, as I was treated with respect. This started with the bouncer being courteous with me when asking for my ID and this continued into the regular show when I was asked if I needed a drink more than once. Even a manager or maybe owner said he wanted to make sure I wasn't being ignored.
   I will do my best to cover as much of the show as possible. Self checkout did stand-up after the Gorilla Finger skit. There was Macy's and Walmart, all bananas, wrong clan, then saying something was like 3 sports movies- Hoosiers, Miracle, and Rudy. The final one was how his wife needs to drink. Grizzly Adams was introduced as the 'Little hairy man'. He did ones about walking cats, stay in for the ending, thumbs up at car wreck, and the ultra-sound clinic. There was the one about the Mike Jackson hologram, which led to Metallica, U2, and Dave Matthews. He called it 'And Justice for all, beautiful day, and crash into me'. After the diner skits was the 'Ball Rock' skit, or 'Ballads'. The erotic novelist bit was next, but it was not the video. The Oklahoma native was next, saying it was the nicest place where I could make his mom cry. He has a Craigslist car, did the wearing a hat bit, and the 'boobless' joke. There was also 'after party/adversary', then the 'Ranch' diner skit, followed by the third jewelry skit, and log busting. Then the red-faced comic went on. Have you been running? Can you not tell? There was the fake $10 bill bit, and seeing someone at a metal show, the shirt said 'Not dead yet'. There was more skits, the conference call, followed by doing lines, and the bathroom buddy. The big dog said the dancers introducing the comics were Peyton, Rachel, and Lexi. He did jokes about bad porn, seven years with the same woman, a Bruno Mars song, and suicide by cop. The final segment before the lap dance was the red-faced comic in gold pants, as Dick Guy. Grizzly was doing the drumming.     
    The final event was unexpected. I was planning on taking the light rail home, and I did. But there was a 20 minute delay as I saw a drunk driver get arrested. His car was blocking the track. I pulled out my camera and got 7 pictures, it looks like others had the same idea. And to think it was going to be a big deal to have found the source of a searchlight while waiting for the train! I know this day, especially the comedy show, made me think a lot about my life. I have accomplished some heady things considering I was just an 'Aw-shucks' shy, scared kid from little Newton, Iowa. Somehow I have found a way in the big city. Eventually I thought of a song lyric that summed it up, it was by Pitbull. I've lost a lot, learned a lot, but still undefeated like Shula. The song was 'Feel this moment', and Christina Aguilera sings part of it.