walking partner

it was a decent day, at work i had a walking partner that is a good friend of mine. we walked 7 laps and spoke about music and football. i said i was trying hard not to make this a lady gaga fan page, but have written about her some already. last night when i was looking on youtube for a video of 'dyer maker' by led zeppelin i found a cover by lady gaga as well. she did it while performing under her real name, stefani germonatta. the change in persona worked well for her, she looked and sounded mediocre by comparison when using her real name. it also sounded too much like the no doubt lead singer, gwen stefani.
   tonight i was back at the comedy club, for a 'funniest person' contest. a good friend was the headliner. he has good jokes, and i laughed a lot. but i did more than laugh. he told a sobering story that left a lasting impression on me. he spoke of being a heroin addict for 3 years, even did a joke about it. but when i saw him after the show i made no mention of it. he probably already knew it was brave to share the story, no need to say it. as amanda marshall once sang, 'everybody's got a story that could break your heart'. i knew about what it was like to be held hostage and consumed by a monster, but it wasn't drugs. i grew up in a cauldron of verbal abuse and anger, and it made me into a sullen malcontent. i could relate to movies like 'girl interrupted' and 'beautiful mind'- those who struggled with mental illness- and songs like 'she' by green day provided comfort, capturing the struggle of life so well. i think it was why i turned to writing, since i felt more comfortable alone and it was one of few things that made me feel good. it provided some answers for me. as bertrand russell said, anything you're good at contributes to happiness'. i may not quite be where i want to be just yet, but i'm closer than i was. you do whatever you can to keep going, to survive. but the fun in life is to thrive, not just survive. and i am thriving more often now.