Monday, September 14, 2015

Joke Name No-Shows

   There was two no-shows at the comedy club tonight, consecutive names on the lineup. The announcer said they must have been joke names. There was also a comic that ran the light. I ordered two Maytag postcards from E-bay, one was an appliance ad and the other was of the dairy farm.
    Also at the comedy club, turtle check did ones about flip flops, old people, and day and night friends. The rapper did ones about yuppie sellout and swallow chain. International Falls did ones about friend dumped, cross-fit, Tig movie, and I want bangs. Long straw did ones about Target bathroom, a Buick, road closed sign, Blockbuster Video, werewolf, and a debit card. Postage stamp did ones about Meteor Man, evolution, Jehovah Witnesses pamphlet, and Star Wars religion. University accountant did ones about avocado shortage, Michael Moore, little dot, free solitaire, Hillary, and Oprah magazine. Brawler did ones about Captain America, college debt, here to help, James Woods, comic books, southern Christ, Catholic school, class reunion, and telekinetic powers. School bouncer did ones about Barbra Streisand, Omar, the Wire, Bruce Jenner, Wolverine, health insurance, stacked deck, breakup, and golden gate. The Wisconsin couple was there. The dude did ones about spank bank, cruller, Mike Jordan, prime rib and merlot, plywood sale, Facebook prayers, and Brett Favre. The lady did ones about glamour camping, donut tire, kids hide at mall, bus pass by, pills for everything, HMO's, gourds in fall harvest, plywood signs on freeway, Trump, and service dog. Mr. Pibb did ones about trick bears, Humane Society, identical twins, dibs and ladies,
I-pad book, 6 inch backpack anime, and kid cuddly. Olive Garden did this joke along with ones about left condom, Delta Airlines show, Spirit fees, universal conspiracy, marathon training, Fonzie, Johnny Carson, and life is perfect. Opera singer did ones about Step by Step, lactic acid, multi vitamins, flax seed, lift weights, and fake in-law. Perkins did ones about a bike helmet, bukaki, One direction, rip on previous comic, and Dad's porn. Maryland did ones about hos aren't loyal, rake, alimony, Tinder, Serena Williams, Obama-care, Will Smith, Pokémon, Urkel, shot lion, and Friends on Netflix. Sub teacher did ones about Trump and Grumpy Cat, Jeb Bush, gator, bath salt, Titanic, sports and politics, Bernie Sanders, casual sex, spoiled egg, bumper sticker, Ron Paul, and that's freedom. Extra murder did ones about Columbus reference, topless protest, Saturday Night Fever, where she's going, me in 25 years, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Stockholm Syndrome, I can drive, a whole different person, CCR, vote stickers, and tax day comma.         

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