Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Biometrics

    While going through new contracts at the office today I saw one buyer who had a military ID. We see these all the time. This one stated Department of Defense, 'Biometrics'. I had to look it up, it is about identifying people.
   I performed at the comedy club tonight, got to all but one joke on my list. It was great to see hipster plantation performing, he said it was his first time doing stand-up in four months. His drawings are really good, he once brought a sketch book full of them. He did ones about fired from job, 2 weeks notice, crowd rap, and what's in the box?
    International Falls did ones about sleepwalkers, teen witches, and the national bird. A comic back from LA did ones about guided meditation, haters on Instagram, an intervention, bachelor party, masculine posturing, luxury strip club, read my Twitter, good old boy trouble, will kiss men good sport. The Wisconsin guy did ones about not a real handyman, we go to Youtube, bikini malfunction, dad a deep fryer salesman, gifts were product samples, flying to Las Vegas, massage Groupon, and Rihanna posting selfies on Twitter. Fish noodle did ones about baby on bus, ear drum terrorist, barber shop promo, not dad's mom, and a girl you kind of like. No-mic did ones about Tom and Jerry, squirrel and mouse, 75 yard dash ribbon, frame rejection letters, watch to look at watch, and chain on wallet. Long straw did ones about Dad wrong on age, Lollapalooza 3 times, chicken and hammock, cyclist in rush hour, groceries at Target, and Ocean's 11 at Aldi.  Nebraska filmed himself. He did ones about watch TV, fake limbs, mountain climbing, be all you can be, I'm not Wells Fargo, the smell of Old Spice, dogs get presents, London look, and taking shoes off. Mr. Pibb did ones about
Yelp reviews, side of fruit, pancakes, take table home, healing gems and stones, your hair looks fine, Bloody Mary 3 times, spit on everything, and choking song. Grizzly did ones about grocery store pedophiles, prefers mean people, and I got a shout out, you don't have to answer that! Others were about American cars, Kid Rock, Bob Seger, did a good job, and feel worse about himself. The Crow did ones about business as usual, where will you find good weed?, Nazis and meth, popular in rural America, bullet factory, bullets are for relieving stress, and he and International Falls are fren-emies. A comic visiting from LA did most of his set right in front of me, but also got 2 people into it that are former Target employees. He was wearing a Suicidal Tendencies hat.   

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