Saturday, May 24, 2014

30 Second Dance Break

   This was a rare day for me, attending two comedy shows. The first was in Uptown Minneapolis, around midday. I performed at it. I said to a co-host how we hadn't done the 30-second dance break yet. This was the school bouncer. Well I enjoyed these, as I know dancing can be good exercise. I wasn't on the original list for this show but said I would show up anyway in case there were no-shows. It still reminds me of an SUV commercial with a pro football player, who said 'Opportunities are seldom perfect, but you have to take them as they may not be offered again'. The food was pretty good there, I had some Italian sliders along with my first-ever Stag beer. The can said it was made by Heileman, well known for making Old Style. The can looks cool, with a deer head on it.
    The other MC was the International Falls native. She did the one about a bar on every corner,
and world peace. Others were about Washington and the Constitution, and mistaken identity in Milwaukee. Mr. Pibb did the one about looking like somebody's 55 year old friend. Others were about a tag on a stuffed animal, and his lady's IUD poking. Turtle Check did ones about changing shapes, the Xanax and boxed wine diet, and the Discover Card commercial 'We treat you like you treat you'. Resistable did ones about spiced latte, and her hair being too red for Target. The next comic is an ex-Chicagoan, was wearing a Morton Salt shirt, and spoke of some Simpsons episodes. The university accountant did ones about cat whiskers, the Rubik's cube, That's so Raven, and the Tootsie Pop. Tortoise and Hare did ones about cemeteries, cremation fire and wheel, along with sliced bread. Rut-Roh did one about Bob Seger, and the co-exist bumper sticker, as well as Smash Mouth. Buffalo Chicken did one about spending too much time alone, and getting weird. The Maryland native did one about being called 'Urkel' in a fight, and how a marketing degree has helped him sell things on Craigslist.
    The Wisconsin couple was show closers. She joined an Improv class, they are crazy. She was in a show choir playing clarinet when she was young. Another was about the Renaissance Fair, and people she knows who have 'Gone Ren'. He did one about shopping at Goodwill, and donating undies. Another was about morons in Florida, due to the snakes in the Everglades. Others were about death solar panels, too much laughter in the house, and how his dad sold Fry Daddys. Their friend was there as well, who they are performing with this week. He did one about a golf course at a cemetery, mowing the couple's lawn, and a Snoopy shirt in a Renaissance painting. Also memorable was how the school bouncer yelled at somebody out in the street, of course he had to open a door to do so. I did ones about being at the Lady Gaga show, buying a box of buttons, along with dealing with an annoying patron at Walgreen. Others were about my dad talking about lead paint, and internet dating stories.
   The second was one I just attended, it was a contest night. There were three contestants, I felt like the right comic won as I knew her jokes best. She was given tickets to a Saints baseball game next month. She did ones about back rubs, and tinted windows. The contest was part of the regular show, and the Wisconsin couple was performing. I liked how the headliner involved her husband, who was MC, in her set. At times she included the feature act as well, and I really liked it when he did voice impressions like of Mickey Mouse. It proves having range to do impressions, I say. I got the couple in my 'Ring of honor' after the show. I had hoped to get one of their CDs but all they had for merchandise was shirts. I have some comedy shirts, but I value CDs more. The MC did ones about Edmund Fitzgerald beer, along with thrift store shopping and donating undies. Others included how his dad sold Fry Daddys, the Target walk-in clinic, Obamacare lies, and the snake problem in Florida.
    The feature act told a crowd member to uncross his arms. He said he is originally from Chicago, and noticed plenty of bridges in this town. Another was about the song 'Let's call the whole thing off'. There was mention of a molecular biology degree. He did jokes about fearing spiders, 'And robot' at an LA bakery, and how gum commercials have changed. I really liked one as it was relatable- somebody saying 'I don't mean to be'- but I know she is.
   The headliner started off with one about an imaginary oxygen tank. Another was about joining an Improv class, like choir kids. This was followed by ones about ostrich and camel racing, the bay area, her mom has a pet raccoon, and Hazelden. One was about a sibling giving up freedom. There was the stripper sex pole, along with cranberries on Turkey Day. Two were about her mom. She wants grand kids, and takes anti-depressants. Others were about wearing makeup, a crossword champion, we all feel bad, and too many RVs on her family's land. She was proposed to at a rest stop.
    Between the shows I did get some errand running done. It meant going to Maplewood Mall to pick up a book I ordered about the Chicago World's Fair, which told the story in postcards. I then made it over to the Saints stadium and got a ticket for Sunday's game, the food truck rally day. Finally I went to the grocery store for my weekly order. I picked up a Redbox movie at McDonald's this morning, when I was there having an Egg McMuffin. I should be able to find the time to see it soon.

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